Don’t Leave the Boy Child Behind… Anymore

By Otsile Motlhabane

The fight against Gender-Based Violence and Femicide (GBVF) is traditionally viewed as a “women’s issue” and a battle that is to be conquered by women, and this notion makes it difficult to frame GBVF as a systemic issue.

Women and girls do not abuse themselves. Women and girls do not rape themselves. Women, children, and people who are differently abled do not murder themselves. Therefore, the war against GBVF cannot continue to exclude boys and men. Curbing this societal ill requires a multifaceted approach and must include those who are often at the forefront of inflicting harm on the most vulnerable.

Girls are taught to “avoid” harm at the hands of boys and men but are we doing enough to educate boys on their behaviour?

Educating boys and men on how they can play a role to end the scourge of GBVF has become critical. It is disheartening to see boys still being socialized differently to girls, this contributes to the complacency that we see all around us. Harmful gender stereotypes, patriarchal norms, gender inequality, and discrimination continue to hinder the progress that we desperately need to curb the occurrence of GBVF, consequently including boys in the war against GBVF is the only answer.

Boys need to understand that they can contribute to making their communities and environments safer for all. How can we do this, you ask? By intensifying multi-sectoral collaborations which focus on centering messaging, campaigns and GBVF related material around boys and men taking a stand against abuse and abusive behaviour.

Boys need to be taught to hold each other accountable and refuse to engage in any behaviors that promote toxic masculinity. Likewise, the idea of “positive masculinity” must become prevalent amongst their circles – a culture of letting other males know that abuse will not be tolerated in their spaces. This behavior shift starts in our homes, schools, in churches, mosques, community centers, neighborhood WhatsApp groups and the like.

Education around issues such as consent, peer pressure, anger management, mental health, expressing and dealing with their emotions and going for counseling must be instilled in boys from an early age. Ensuring that boys understand that they are not bystanders in the war against abuse has become ever so crucial, in fact it is the radical shift we need in our communities.

The battle against GBVF will be overcome by more than just observing “16 Days of Activism Against Abuse” annually or the 90-Day Initiative Against GBVF. The battle can only be conquered through continuous communication, conversation, and reflection. This is not only the government and South African women’s fight, but a fight for humanity. Let the boy child not be left behind in the scourge against GBVF any longer.

Otsile Motlhabane is an Assistant Director at Research Services in GCIS